Networking 101: How to make a lasting impression
Amanda Berlin for The Muse
01 May 2015
Networking can feel like the professional equivalent of speed dating. And,
like speed dating, you don't just want to make a good impression — you want to
make a lasting one. So, how can you present yourself well and make meaningful
connections when it feels like you're making small talk with people who are
only half-listening?
The first step is to reframe your concept of networking. At your next event,
remind yourself that it's less about empty chit-chat and more about making
connections.
How do you make those?
By forgetting everything you thought you knew about networking small talk
and, instead, tapping into the science of good conversation! Here are six
strategies for being the most popular person to talk to at your next networking
event.
1.
Be easy to listen to
Sound expert Julian Treasure says conversation killers
include gossip, judgment, negativity, complaining, exaggeration, accusations,
and being a "blame-thrower." These types of communication are simply
hard to listen to, he says. According to Treasure, the four powerful
cornerstones of good conversation spell HAIL: honesty (being clear and
straight), authenticity (being yourself), integrity (actually doing what you
say you will), and love (wishing people well).
How do you do this in a quick networking conversation? You can be honest and
authentic by asking genuine questions when a topic comes up that you know
nothing about — instead of nodding along and pretending like you get it. When
saying goodbye at the end of the event, think of something specific from your
conversation that you can reference, then wish the person well. It's as easy as
that.
2.
Create conversational chemistry
According to an article in the Harvard Business Review, positive
conversations can induce the production of oxytocin. And oxytocin
elevates our ability to collaborate and trust others. Conversations that show
concern for others, are based in truth, and share a vision of mutual success
are among those that result in this kind of good chemistry.
Instead of spending time trying to convince someone to see your side of an
issue (a.k.a., trying to be controversial and groundbreaking), share a positive
thought that's mutually beneficial and useful to the person you're talking to.
You can prepare this positive thought ahead of time by looking up current,
relevant industry news that would be interesting to the people you're meeting.
3.
Encourage self-disclosure
It's common sense that we like to talk about ourselves, but there's actually
a chemical reaction associated with self-disclosure that we find inherently
rewarding. According to a study published in the Proceedings
From the National Academy of Sciences, self-disclosure was strongly
associated with increased activation in dopamine centers of the brain, the same
regions that respond to rewards like food and money.
So, create an environment that invites other people to tell you about
themselves. A great approach is to come in with some great conversation
starters to aid in the effort to draw people out. For example, instead of
talking to someone about how his or her week is going, you can get specific and
ask, "What was the highlight of your week?" The former usually leads
to a short answer ("it's going"); the latter is a chance for the
other person to really open up.
4.
Ask for stories, not answers
Sharing stories creates a connection and stimulates an emotional memory that
helps us give meaning to our experiences and interactions. Eliciting
stories from people you're just meeting can also help you get a lot more
information, as well as a better understanding of where they are coming from,
both literally and metaphorically.
Refrain from asking "What do you do?" or "Where are you
from?" Instead ask: "What are you working on these days?" or
"What was the town like where you grew up?"
5.
Skip the small talk
Research suggests that talking about more substantive
issues can actually make us happier than engaging in traditional small talk.
Slipping some details into small talk can elevate the conversation to a greater
level of engagement.
So, if someone asks where you're from, add a bit of trivia about your
hometown. Or if someone asks what you do, talk briefly about what drew you to
the profession. Either answer should lead to the person inquiring more about
what you said, which gets you away from chit-chat and closer to having a
memorable exchange.
6.
Use your instrument to its best capacity
Having meaningful conversations doesn't just have to do with what you say,
but also how you say it. You'll come off as much more interested (and
interesting) if you vary your tone so you don't sound monotone or disengaged.
Try speaking slower and quieter, which can actually draw people in. Also, don't
be scared to embrace silence; it's better than filling the space with
"ahs" and "ums."
Elevate your conversation above the distractions and small talk at your next
networking or social event to create connections that really matter.
